Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Truths for Mature Humans

  1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately DOD wipe your computer hard drive when you die
  2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong
  3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
  4. There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
  5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
  6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
  7. Online mapping sites need to start their directions on #5; I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood
  8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
  9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't kind of tired.
  10. Bad decisions make good stories.
  11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know you aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
  12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever technology is invented after Blu-Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection... again
  13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I did not make any changes to.
  14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
  15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
  16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers, On any given Friday or Saturday night, more kisses begin with Budweiser than Kay.
  17. I wish Google Maps has an "Avoid this Neighborhood" routing option
  18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
  19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
  20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, drivers!
  21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty and you can wear them forever.
  22. Sometimes I'll look at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
  23. Even under ideal conditions, people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and pinning the tail on the donkey - but everyone can find and push the snooze button on any alarm clock from 3 feet away in 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time.

Monday, January 03, 2011

The 5 Minute Mug Brownie

Ingredients:
1 large coffee mug
4 Tablespoons of flour
4 Tablespoons of sugar
2 Tablespoons of cocoa
1 egg
3 Tablespoons of milk
3 Tablespoons of oil
A Splash of Vanilla Extract
3 Tablespoons of chocolate chips (optional)


Directions:
  1. Mix dry ingredients in the mug
  2. Add the egg, stir together
  3. Add the milk and oil, mix
  4. Add the chocolate chips and vanilla extract, mix
  5. Microwave for 3 minutes
  6. Allow to cool and slide out onto plate
  7. Eat and enjoy

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Why your vote matters

Ahhh, election season.

The time of year when the leaves turn, the smell of wood burning fires fills the air, and our "respectable" politicians make schoolyard bullying seem like playful teasing.

It's enough to make any sane American despondent, disgusted, and disenfranchised - and you see that's kind of the point.

"They" don't want you to vote.
"They" want you to feel like none of it makes any difference.
"They" know that you're too busy living your own life to pay any more attention than 30 seconds during Survivor to the politics of our country.

But "They" have to be wrong.

I know, just like the leaves, the fires, and the prep for the holiday season, most of the attention is fleeting. Eventually the leaves are raked up or covered with the first snowfall, the fires move inside, and the holidays pass by. But the decisions you make, or choose NOT to make, on election day follow us forever.

It's easy to spout the platitudes like "If you don't vote, you can't complain" but it's not those who would actually listen to that statement that need to be reached. The disenfranchised, disgusted voter is not going to be moved by your personal feeling of civic pride in 7 words. You need to pass along why you are so passionate about your vote.

So here's mine:
I choose to vote because it's the loudest my voice can get. I don't buy into the whole "if you don't vote, you can't complain" because you CAN complain. You can write letters to the editor, post your opinions on blogs, call your Senators or Congressman and complain. But your voice is never louder than on the first Tuesday in November. That's the day you can stand up and say to your fellow citizens "This is the person who I feel will best represent me and my district, state, or country to my fellow man."

That's a pretty powerful statement to make. To stand up, point to one person and tell the rest of the world that THIS is who I am most like, who believes in (most) of the same things I do, and speaks on my behalf while I'm running the kids to soccer practice, working on that presentation, or grocery shopping, or just trying to get through just one more day.

I choose to vote because I'm willing to sacrifice my personal interests for the greater good. That's right, I'll vote AGAINST myself if I feel that it's better for my community as a whole. It can be as small as a tax levy that will strain my wallet, or for a candidate that while I may personally despise has a plan that will help move my community forward.

And as much as I'm willing to sacrifice my personal interest for the greater good, I do so because I truly believe in my heart that Today, Election Day, is the one day that truly makes me... makes US... American Citizens. To not vote would be to waste everything that was done for me before I was even here. The sacrifices of our soldiers, the hardships of growing pains and depressions of the past, all led to this moment.

This one perfect moment where I get to take control of our country's future and make my voice heard.
To not vote would shine a light on everything that I complain about, only this time I allowed it to happen because I was too despondent, disgusted, and disenfranchised to care any more.

And I can't let them do that to the country I love.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

You didn't get mad...

You didn't get mad when the Supreme Court stopped a legal recount and appointed a President
You didn't get mad when Cheney allowed Energy company officials to dictate energy policy.
You didn't get mad when a covert CIA operative got outed
You didn't get mad when we illegally invaded a country that posed no threat to us
You didn't get mad we spent over 600 billion (and counting) on said illegal war
You didn't get mad when over 10 billion dollars just disappeared in Iraq
You didn't get mad wen you saw the Abu Grahib photos
You didn't get mad when you found out we were torturing people
You didn't get mad when the government was illegally wiretapping Americans
You didn't get mad when we didn't catch Bin Laden
You didn't get mad when you saw the horrible conditions at Walter Reed
You didn't get mad when we let a major US city drown
You didn't get mad when the deficit hit the trillion dollar mark

You finally got mad when.. when.. wait for it... when the government decided that people in America deserved the right to see a doctor if they are sick.   Yes, illegal wars, lies, corruption, torture, stealing your tax dollars to make the rich richer, are all ok with you but helping other Americans... well fuck that.  That about right?  You know it is.

You people have all lost your fucking minds.  You are selfish, greedy, obnoxious, narcissistic, and frankly... stupid.  Your pathetic little misspelled protest signs are embarrassing.  Maybe you ought to find the smart person in your midst and let them make up all the signs, cause man, you look like a bunch of idiots.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Pirate Burgers

Inspired by some show (don't remember) I watched today on the Food Network:

1 1/2 lbs Ground Chuck
1 Dry Onion Soup Mix
Approximately 1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
1/4 to 1/3 cup of dry bread crumbs
2 tbsp (approx) of beef stock
6-8 slices of THICK bacon (I prefer applewood)
Fresh sliced mozzarella cheese

Bake the bacon in the oven on 400 degrees for 8-10 minutes or until nice and crispy

Mix the chuck, soup, worcestershire sauce, bread crumbs, and beef stock in a large mixing bowl.
After the bacon is done, crumble it up and mix in with the rest of the mix.

Pull approximately 2 ounces of the mix out and flatten out in patty form.  Put a slice of the mozzarella in the center, then top with another 2 ounces of mix.

Firmly pat them out in patty shape.

Toss on a preheated grill for approximately 5-7 minutes per side, toast the buns, plate and enjoy.